Children need to learn to walk before they can run. Some people need to learn to think before they speak. I, apparently, need to learn to date BEFORE I blog!
My slight smugness about my Canada related dates last week has come back to bite me in the ass.
Mr. A-Game has shuffled his way out of popularity. After the great initial ‘getting to know each other’ crap, it appears that there is nothing left of interest inside him. The conversations and text messages have dwindled down to nothing more than a plethora of sickly sweet pet names and repeated variants of ‘how was your day?’ I just need a little more mental stimulation than common place pleasantries, but isn’t that one of the problems with online dating…it takes weeks of messaging to learn what you could have learnt in five minutes of face to face conversation!
The Canadian Mountie also called for a rain check on our date. Admittedly there’s not a lot he could do about a beloved uncle being killed in a horrific car crash, for which I have expressed my deepest condolences, but I can’t help feeling that fate may have coluded with Cupid to make sure I don’t retread old ground.
I haven’t heard from Mr. Fof since our date, but that comes as a welcome relief rather than any surprise. Friends of friends is definitely as far as that connection will ever go.
There was a late addition to the line up last week that I never got around to telling you about. We were at school together and haven’t seen each other in over 15 years. That work of the devil, Facebook, gave him the opportunity to track me down and ask me out on a date. At first I was apprehensive. He wasn’t bad looking at school and his looks haven’t deteriorated with age, but to be completely honest, he was a bit of a dick. Not the sharpest tool in the box, he excelled at sports, flirting and inappropriate humour of the immature teen boy variety. His Facebook profile suggested not a lot had changed. When he started texting me, I lost even more interest. But then he called me and, as if by magic, he became a charming, complimentary, civilised adult male. Employed. A father. Empathetic and supportive. Absolutely definitely resembling a respectable human being. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised. We text and called frequently in the days leading up to our date, only for a message to pop up on my screen less than 24 hours before our reunion,
‘I’ve just realised I have to work nights this week so I won’t get to see you’.
In my vast experience, this excuse for cancelling a date is right up there with dead dogs, broken down cars and the sudden onset of a deadly flu. Strike one Mr.Schoolboy. You may not get a chance at a second strike.
And last, but by no means least, there is Weston. Dear, sweet, funny, well endowed young Weston. I continue to deny both his and my own urges for rough, filthy, deeply satisfying sex, but I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. Dear reader, please understand…if it were possible for Weston and The Traveller to have a love child, it would bare an uncanny resemblance to Cam Gigandet. Is it any wonder then that those men have been appearing at the very top of my fantasy list recently?! Please, judge me no more and simply commend my resolve!
Mental Health: I feel better with every passing day, despite the intrusive sexual thoughts!
Physical Health: I’ve been complimented several times over the last week on how good I am looking, so I guess something about my lifestyle changes is working!